Call Me Master Tori, Please

Grenada in the winter months is a dream. I didn’t think it could get any more perfect here, and then I stepped off the plane and felt a heavenly breeze.  The temperature is the same as it was in August, but the difference is the humidity I think. And there are some lovely winds coming from somewhere—probably Antarctica. But this weather is really crappy timing, because I don’t have much free time to enjoy it this term. Why is that, you ask? Well, it’s because I am 4 weeks deep into my Master’s in Accounting program through Texas A&M. Aggghhhh! I’m gonna be a Master! Whatever that means.

Judging from all the confused laughs I generate when I make this announcement, I better clarify for everyone what the deal is. And it’s probably just as funny as you originally thought. I have ZERO background in accounting, but I have always loved the order that comes through math and especially problem-solving. I’ll admit it—I’m obsessed with worksheets. Plus, my four years at Vivint sparked my obsession with the business world.

I considered going into accounting during my undergrad but, a parent of mine, who will not be named, told me I had too much personality to be an accountant (I can say that now that I’m going to be one, right?) and so I pursued psychology. Which, I really, really loved, but now my career options are really, really pitiful. The plan is to become a CPA. I like the flexibility of the career—I could have my own clients and work from home, or if I start getting stir-crazy, I could go work for Vivint. Or another business I guess, but I’m Vivint for life, baby.

And not only that, I just hate that I have no knowledge on the subject at all. Once we start making money in ten years or so, it’ll be so useful to know what to do with our money. And if nothing else, it will save us $250 a year from hiring an accountant to do our taxes. That’ll really add up, guys. It may cover my tuition by the time I’m 87.

The whole idea came about as I was sitting on the beach one day, drinking my Miami Vice thinking about Leonardo DiCaprio, of course, which led me to The Wolf of Wall Street. And then I said to myself, “I don’t think we are in enough debt, what could I possibly do to drive us farther into the hole?” And alas, a dream was born. They should make a Disney Channel movie about me.

I only doubt myself every hour or so. The material is pretty effing hard for someone who knows literally nothing about the industry. Almost as hard as trying to go to the bathroom in a one-piece bathing suit. And it’s completely online which is the worst. But, I have nothing but time, so it gives me the option to go over the chapters two or three or ten times.

Being back in school has really helped put me in Billy’s shoes too. Last week, I was having a really hard time and feeling overwhelmed and I worked my butt off so I could have a pool day. I was crying to Billy that all I wanted was to lay at the pool and get fat. Life goals, ya know? As he was holding me, comforting me, I could have smacked myself. Because Billy feels all that same stress times 1,000, but he doesn’t get days off. He just goes to bed and starts all over again. What a freaking brat I’m being! So hopefully, by going through this with him, I’m getting a better grasp on what he’s going through and I’ll be more understandable on the hardest days where I’m missing him. Fingers crossed.

It's also nice because we go to school together in the morning and we have much more to say to each other than:

Me: How was your day?
Billy: Good.
Me: What'd you do?
Billy: Studied
Me: Cool!

I tell him what I'm learning and what I like and dislike about it, and it's somehow easier for me to listen to him talking about the crazy scientist stuff he's learning. 

I’ve actually had this post drafted for a few weeks now, and I keep chickening out about posting it. I’m totally fine talking about farts, sex, bodily fluids, how many days I’ve gone without pooping (2), etc. But ask me about my life goals and I turn bright red and clam up. That feels way more personal to me for some reason. Billy told me about this TED talk that he listened to once. I never listened to it myself, so this is passed down the “he told me that she said” telephone line. Billy’s synopsis is that when we tell people our plans or our goals, a small part of us feels proud and feels as if we have already accomplished the task and we don’t feel as motivated to actually complete the goal. So, I’ve been waiting until I had a month of classes under my belt and that I was actually learning and passing before I told a lot of people. If you see me in 2.5 years and I’m not a CPA—blame it on this blog post. And then my Disney Channel movie can be called The Girl Who Was Almost a CPA. Riveting.

Here is a photoshoot of me trying to study.
***Disclaimer: I do not wear glasses. I wear them to make me feel smart while studying***

My grainy iPhone view from my study spot on campus.