Monday, July 31, 2017

Trying to Be Positive

I have loathed being pregnant. Absolutely hated it. There was maybe only a month (and not even a month straight--they were four separately scattered weeks) when I didn’t feel nauseous. And now it’s back in full swing. My back hurts all the time. If I’m not nauseous, I have heartburn, which also causes me to throw up. I've been diagnosed with obstetric cholestasis and EVERYTHING on my body itches. I'm probably gonna have scars from where I've made myself bleed from scratching nonstop. I really don’t know if we’ll have any more biological children, because being pregnant is my least favorite thing to do. I’m gonna need my brain to do some serious repression before we start thinking about doing some more fertility treatment.

But, I realize I spend a lot of my time complaining about it, and I don’t want to look back on this almost year of my life with that much negativity. Because it’s also the most wonderful thing that’s ever happened to me. (But really, why does it have to be so long?)

So, here is a list of the things I’ll (maybe) miss about pregnancy:

1. Being reassured by the spastic movements. My baby is constantly moving. Sometimes, when I’m bored at work, I’ll just watch my belly convulsing. I sometimes get annoyed by it, especially when he hurts me, but it sure beats the alternative of always wondering if he’s okay in there. In fact, I have found myself googling if a baby can move too much. I even googled if it was possible for a baby to have a seizure in utero, because it sure felt like he was. Every time we have had an ultrasound or we’ve tried to find the heartbeat, the tech or doctor makes a comment about how active he is. And I’m just like “I KNOW!” 
A few weeks ago, my doctor warned me that he would start running out of room in there, so I would feel less movement. He doesn’t know my baby like I do, though. He doesn’t like to feel cramped. Whenever my bladder starts filling up, he likes to push back against it because it gets in his way. I can usually get him to move on command by pushing into my belly button. He gets irritated and pushes back. And I’ve actually felt him stronger than ever in the past few weeks. I even went to the ER again because one of his kicks had me doubling over and I was almost positive he broke my water. Luckily, he hadn’t, but I still feel like he could at any given moment. I have so many friends that are pregnant right now and they all talk about being able to tell where their baby’s head or butt is, but honestly mine is constantly doing somersaults, so I never know if he’s kicking me or punching me or if it’s his head or butt making my stomach drastically larger on one side. Our spawn is a little psycho and I love it.

2. My new laugh. My laugh has morphed into a really deep belly laugh that sounds so weird that it makes me laugh even harder. I sound like Santa Claus. It makes my laughs so much more satisfying and jolly for some reason.

3. Maternity pants! I may wear these forever. They are so comfortable. And I got some really cute maternity clothes that I’m a little sad I won’t be able to wear in a couple months. Well, if all goes as planned, I won’t be able to wear them in a couple months. At the moment, I can’t really imagine myself not having a belly.

4. Always having a good excuse to get ice cream. The other day, we went to the beach with some friends and Billy and I grabbed some McDonald’s for lunch. Before I was pregnant, there’s no way I would have eaten a Hot ‘n Spicy chicken sandwich when I know I’m going to be in a swimsuit all day. But since I’m huge anyway, and my belly actually stretches out my love handles, I didn’t even bat an eye! This mentality is probably the reason why I’ve gained almost 50 pounds.

5. Stranger’s kind comments. I get so many “Congratulations!” and “What are you having?” from the most random people. There are also some not so fun comments, of course.
“Any day now, right?”
“Nope, still got another month!”
“Really? Oh wow!”
“Thank you? If it makes you feel any better, I eat a lot of pizza.”
One guy outside my work asked me “Are you having a baby or just getting fat?”
People are crazy, but for the most part everyone has been super friendly and sweet about it.

6. Getting to cut in line at public restrooms. This is especially useful for living in the city when your baby likes to use your bladder as a stress ball.

7. Billy and I have grown so much closer through this whole experience. We rarely ever fight anymore. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m so tired all the time, so I don’t have the energy to nag him. Or because he is finally in the fun part of medical school with normal hours and doing hands-on doctor crap that he loves (“Babe, I got to touch someone’s intestines today!”). But I’ve felt like we laugh more than ever—especially when imagining ourselves as parents. Our newest hobby is talking about the baby together and feeling him attack his mother together.

I have been lucky in that I haven’t had any crazy mood swings or anything. I was a little depressed the first month we were in Chicago, but I blame that on the winter and not having a job. I’m a little nervous at how having a baby will affect our marriage. I know it changes everything, but hopefully we can keep up this closeness we’ve developed. Even through the sleep deprivation and constant worry about our child’s well-being.  (And we’re not gonna even mention the possibility of postpartum. My pregnancy has been too awful that I’m not allowing myself to consider the fact that I might get postpartum depression!)

For the past 6.5 years, (not to mention the 1.5 years of dating) we have been very spontaneous. We decide we want to go on a trip somewhere, and we go. We get hungry for dinner, and we go to our favorite restaurant. We get tired, and we take a nap. We’re bored, and so we go play tennis. Now, our whole life has to be adapted around the baby’s schedule. I’m hoping I’ll be able to keep this carefree attitude and let ourselves live, but I also know how freaking nice it is to keep your baby on a schedule. I’ve been around my nieces and nephews enough to know what happens when you mess with THE SCHEDULE! When we watched my nieces 2 years ago, I made fun of my sister for printing out an itinerary and feeding and nap schedule for us. But that itinerary became my best friend! The kids were perfect as long as we didn’t mess with THE SCHEDULE!

8. The hair. My hair is so long and thick now and I love it. Although since I live in Chicago, I can’t justify the price of getting my hair dyed or cut at a salon. Plus, I don’t have much energy to actually do it, so I kind of look like a polygamist. I’m gonna start being one of those people who fly out to Utah to get all their cheap beauty needs, because it is ridiculous out here.

9. Being able to blame stuff on the pregnancy. My brain is shot. I’m not even exaggerating when I say that I bet my IQ is about 30 points lower. My boss will ask me, “did you finish the bank reconciliation?” and I rack my brain to see if I can remember doing it, and I honestly cannot remember. So, I usually respond with, “If it’s been finished, then that was me. I’ll take all the credit.” 
I’m really hoping for the sake of my career that this symptom goes away, but it’s been nice to be able to blame it on the pregnancy. Because even when I’m not pregnant, I’m extremely prone to blonde moments.
Or if I start crying out of nowhere, I love being able to blame it on the pregnancy hormones (when really I am just kind of a crybaby).

And I really can’t think of anything else I’ll miss. I just want to meet this child and fall in love with him ASAP. (And not feel sick anymore).

Tuesday, May 9, 2017

Prepping for Motherhood

It’s pretty miraculous to me how much pregnancy helps you prepare for motherhood. While most days I think “why the hell does it take almost a year to grow a baby?”, I’ve been shocked by how much the changings in my body have already prepared me. To be sure, I will still be in for a rude awakening (literally, lots of awakenings) once our little boy comes. But, the blow will be softened by some of these adjustments I’ve already had to make.

      1. Sleep. My biggest fear in having a baby was in not being able to get my much needed sleep. I used to need a minimum of 9 hours every night in order to be fully functional. If I got any less than 8 hours, don’t talk to me or you will get your head bitten off. Just ask my husband—the whole day, I would be thinking about those extra hours of lost sleep and basically the day was a waste.
Now, I’m sleeping like crap. I have to get up to pee at least once every night. I can’t fall asleep when I want to. And I’m getting really uncomfortable. I still sleep on my back when it’s not too uncomfortable, because a friend told me that you’ll adjust your position out of comfort before it gets dangerous. So, I’m sticking to that! Our baby is a SPAZ when I lay flat on my back, so I’m pretty sure he’s getting enough blood supply.
And now I know that I can go work a full day with only a few hours of sleep and actually survive. I actually can’t sleep in past 9 AM anymore, which if you know me, is a miracle. (I know the moms reading this are like “9 AM is sleeping in!”, but it takes baby steps to get to full zombie Mom mode, okay?) And the fact that he loves to kick me the hardest when I’m trying to relax or sleep brings me to my next point…

      2. The conflicting of wills. This baby is so uncooperative. I have been trying to film my belly movements for the past 2 weeks, because you can literally see my belly shake when he kicks. As soon as I get my phone out to record it, he stops. He’s really good at responding to Billy’s touches, but he never responds to mine. He basically never does anything I want him to. At our 20-week ultrasound, I was really excited to get some cute profiles of his face and pictures of his tiny hands and feet. But, he would not hold still long enough to be photographed. We watched him do a full-on somersault on the screen—not even exaggerating. So, we are mentally preparing ourselves for how stubborn and headstrong he will be. I’m telling you, this child is going to be a psycho.

     3. The snacks. I have had to learn to eat every couple hours to keep my energy up, to prevent headaches, and to prevent nausea. I used to eat 2 big meals a day and I’d be fine. Now, my body will start attacking me if I don’t keep it fed. In my purse right now, I have an apple, a sandwich, a protein bar, a protein drink, and a bag of carrots. And I always have my 40 oz Hydroflask on me. My body has trained me to be always prepared with snacks on hand like any good momma should be.

      4. The constant worry. I’ve been lucky enough that I haven’t had to worry too much this pregnancy. Even after losing a baby and being prone to anxiety, I have been so comforted and laid back in almost every situation.
But just last week, we found out that I have a marginal cord insertion. This means that the umbilical cord attaches to the placenta on the edge instead of the middle. What it means for the baby is that there is a risk he isn’t getting enough nutrients through the cord. At our last ultrasound, the doctor said he was in the 83rd percentile (!?!), so at least he’s been growing at a good rate up to this point. There’s nothing much they can do except give me ultrasounds every 3 weeks to monitor his growth—which I am more than happy to get!
It also means that if I deliver vaginally there is a high risk of the cord ripping out of the placenta which could cause hemorrhaging. So there is a higher chance that I will need a C-section. Don’t judge me, but I really wanted a C-section anyway, so no heartbreak over that news. It seems less risky to me and labor has always terrified me. Plus, scars are cool. But now I’m in constant fear that my body is starving my baby of the nutrients that he needs and there’s nothing I can really do about it. And if that doesn't happen, then I'm just as terrified of delivering a 10 pound baby. Which is hopefully preparing me to be a mother and to worry incessantly over things I can’t control for the rest of my life.
 We had another little scare on Thursday where I was leaking unknown fluid all day long. Since it was more of a constant trickle like how I've been warned amniotic fluid leaks, we decided to go to the ER at Billy's hospital. We weren't really that worried, but we decided to go because we are in the middle of switching doctors and so it's been 4 weeks since my last ultrasound--after I was told to have an ultrasound every 3-4 weeks. We were super glad we went, not because anything was wrong, but because we got to meet our new OB. He was awesome and made me feel way less stressed about the marginal cord insertion. He also told me it was good to come in and if I leak like that again and I'm not sure if it's pee then I need to come in again. 
The staff there was amazing. I don't know if it's cause we went during the night shift and everyone was just excited for something to do or whether they just really love their jobs. But our ultrasound tech tried for 20 extra minutes to get a profile picture for our stubborn little boy--and we didn't even ask her too. She also walked us through everything, describing and reenacting all the different movements and poses he was making. We got to watch a little yawn and watch him swallow some fluid. He even peed--just like his momma. She kept telling us how beautiful his organs photograph--he was quite the showoff in that aspect. But she could also tell he REALLY doesn't like to be touched--also just like his momma. Which makes me worried that I'll pass on all my awful traits to him. So, pregnancy has taught me to worry when things are good and worry when things are bad. Or maybe that's just who I am, regardless of pregnancy.    

      5. All the STUFF. I try to be a minimalist. If I haven’t used something within the last 6 months, I donate it or throw it away (of my husband will let me). Clutter shoots my anxiety through the roof. I don’t even believe in decorating for holidays, because you store the crap for 11 months out of the year and then pull it out and use it for a month. I LOATHE storing things. I’m all about efficiency. I don’t even want a crib, because I feel like it takes up so much space and it’s another thing we will have to move. I’m thinking of putting the baby in a pack and play so it’s at least portable and has more than one function.
Has anyone been to a baby store before? There is so much CRAP in there. We got a car seat and stroller a couple weeks ago, and the store made me want to cry. I was legitimately considering getting those Finn Bin boxes for our baby to sleep in. If you haven’t seen them, they are just a cardboard box with a mattress in them.
According to all the bloggers, I need a bassinet, a crib, a heavy duty stroller, a lightweight stroller, a car seat, a glider, a bouncer, a rocker, a play mat, a tummy time mat, a pack and play, a hand breast pump, an electric breast pump, a lightweight baby carrier, a heavy duty baby carrier, 1,000,000 diapers, etc., etc., etc. I’m sweating just typing these all out. Right now, we only have a car seat and stroller that hook up to each other and they are taking up two corners of our apartment and it’s already stressing me out.  While I’m definitely not going to get even half of that crap, and I still haven’t learned to be okay with this clutter, I can see how it will be a big adjustment when my child takes over my life and leaves his toys everywhere. Oh, and don’t even mention the fact that once he grows out of certain things, I’ll have to STORE IT for my next child. 

Thursday, April 27, 2017

Let's Play..."Guess That Fluid!"

We had a little scare the other night. I made the poor choice (yet again) of deciding not to get my nausea medication refilled. I figured that I’m at 22 weeks--there’s no way I should still be getting sick, right? WRONG! I take Diclegis every night and it’s worked wonders on helping me not feel nauseous. It makes me really drowsy, so I can only take it at night. So, after letting my prescription lapse, when I discovered that I am in fact still getting sick, I had to wait until the next night to get relief because it makes me so drowsy. 

Anyway, I was sick all day and dreaming of going to bed so I could get some relief. Going to bed is my favorite time of the day every day, but this day especially, it was all I could think of. Billy had only slept a few hours the night before and then of course had his longest day of surgery yet (7:30 AM-8 PM). Needless to say, we were both giddy to get into bed at 9 PM and watch Vikings until we fell asleep. Now, when I say I was sick all day, I mean nauseous. For some reason, I never throw up when I’m nauseous (even though I really want to). The times that I've thrown up during my pregnancy have been from my heartburn. So my nausea combined with my nightly heartburn really set me over the edge. At 10:30 PM, I ran to the toilet to puke my guts out. When I was finally done hurling, I notice that there was about a half a cup of fluid on the floor beneath me and my pants were all wet.

At first, I thought I peed from the force of throwing up. But as I was cleaning it up, I noticed that the liquid is extremely clear—no yellowish tinge whatsoever. I went in for a sniff test—nothing. So, that’s when I yelled to Billy “Come smell this weird fluid! I’m 65% sure it came out of my vagina!” Oh, the joys of marriage. Poor Billy was so tired and did not want to get out of bed, but got up to smell whatever came out of my body. He couldn’t smell pee either, which made us both think that I may have been leaking amniotic fluid.

So, we got back into bed (after washing up and changing pants, of course) and started Googling. I found a lot of posts about women who throw up so forcefully that they pee their pants. That made me feel better and made we think I was probably fine. But then Billy started looking at his doctor crap and he was getting more and more convinced that it was amniotic fluid. And when Billy gets nervous, that makes me nervous. I’m usually the nervous one telling him that I’m dying and he tells me I probably just need to drink more water. He never suggests going to the doctor. But, since we couldn’t know for sure what the fluid was, we decided we better play it safe and go to the ER. So, we got out of bed at 11 PM and saw our fun evening plans of slipping into a coma fade away. I put a bra on, grabbed my phone charger and kindle and waited for Billy to be ready.

We were both so annoyed at having to go, but we tried to remember we were doing it for the good of our baby. Is that what parenthood is? Trying to keep your child alive, but all the while being annoyed about it? As we were headed out the door, I remembered reading on Dr. Google about a woman who took her soiled pants to the doctor to be tested for amniotic fluid since she wasn’t sure if her water broke or not. So, I grabbed my dirty pants to bring with us for testing and took another whiff just to be sure and whaddya know? PEE! I’ve never been so happy to smell urine. I excitedly made Billy smell. He HATES smelling things. And I LOVE forcing him to smell things. After he confirmed it was indeed my urine, we went back to bed and slept peacefully. Even though I’m pretty sure we had traces of urine on our noses and who knows where else. So, don’t worry ladies and gentlemen. My water has not broken yet. I simply peed all over the floor. I have lost all control of basic bodily functions. And the moral of this story is: drink LESS water so it’s more yellow and fragrant and so you can always tell whether you peed your pants.

Friday, March 31, 2017

Where Did March Go?

This is for people who have been worried or who have been pretending to be worried how I’ve been feeling. My nausea has finally subsided for the most part. Except I get extremely bad acid reflux every night which makes me feel nauseous because I feel like I’m constantly in the middle of throwing up. Luckily, it’s not bad enough that I can’t fall asleep, so maybe I just need to go to bed earlier before it even starts. I’ve been getting awful headaches that I’ve been somewhat able to manage by eating and drinking more consistently. And I even got my doctor to prescribe me neck massages from Billy! One of the things I love the most about Billy is that his hands don’t ever get tired from massages. I’m not even trying to be dirty by saying that. I pride myself on giving pretty good back and neck rubs, but they still get tired pretty easily. Billy could rub my neck for hours and it makes me love him so much more.

I still haven’t reached the phase where I’m hungry and can’t ever get full. That is one of the things I’ve been looking forward to the most in pregnancy. I would love to just eat nonstop. I usually have to force myself to eat just so I don’t get headaches. And I don’t really enjoy the food unless it’s hummus and garlic naan. Very weirdly specific, I know. People keep asking if we’ve eaten at all these awesome places in Chicago, but I’m scared to try new places for fear that I’ll hate them simply because I’m pregnant. I don’t want to ruin these awesome places with my palette similar to that of a toddler’s!

I’m getting quite anxious to have my belly button pop out. I never thought I would say that either. But right now, my belly button sort of just folds in on itself and looks like a belly roll—which makes it look like I’m just fat, not pregnant. I’ve also been having pain in my tailbone whenever I walk—which is fun for living in the city. I think I need to get back into yoga. I thought this stuff wasn’t supposed to happen until I was much larger! I have been able to go to the gym and lift weights and power-walk until my tailbone started hurting. I can’t run at all because my boobs hurt too much when they bounce and my injection spots on my bum from all the shots still hurt pretty badly when I run. I feel like they should have been healed by now, so it’s probably the baby’s fault. As is everything else. If I didn’t love this little shit so much already, I might be pretty angry at him when he finally gets here. He’s getting guilt trips for life. ;)

We found out we are having a boy on March 23. I finally convinced Billy to go to a private ultrasound place where you just pay $50 to find out the gender—I’ve been begging for him to go since I was 14 weeks. Our ultrasound at the hospital wasn’t scheduled for a few more weeks, so he got as impatient as I’ve been. The place was a little creepy, but they had the equipment, so I guess that’s all that matters. It took forever to find out. At first, little guy was spread eagle for the camera, but the cord was going right between his legs so we couldn’t get a good view. Then, the ultrasound tech made me do some twerking to get him to move and the cord moved, but he stuck his foot right into his groin, so we couldn’t see anything. Then after twerking some more, he had put his foot down but turned all the way around so we couldn’t see anything. The tech thought she knew what it was the whole time, but she wanted to make sure before she told us. But she called him a “He”, so I knew that’s what she thought it was. Then we finally got confirmation and a little picture. I was shocked, because I had felt like it was a girl. I’ve been calling him “she” for the past few weeks. Poor guy. I started crying when we found out, so Billy thinks that I was upset it’s not a girl, but I would have cried no matter what she said. I cried during the new Fast and the Furious trailer, for hell’s sake! Obviously I’m going to cry at that special moment. It just makes it so much more real now that I can picture my little baby as a toddler and in elementary school and high school (YIKES). We also got a 3D ultrasound since it was only $10 more. I’ll spare you the pictures, because it is freaking creepy. I’d recommend waiting until later in pregnancy to get one of those done. He is so scrawny still.

We had friends and family come visit over the weekend and it was the best! Billy is doing an ophthalmology surgery rotation and his hours are ridiculously nice, so he actually got to hang out with all of us. He usually gets a 3-4 day weekend. So, on Friday, it got up to 82 degrees and Billy’s brother was staying with us, so we went to explore the Lincoln Park Zoo. We were so hot and sweaty, it was delightful! I forgot what it was like to be hot and looking for air conditioned buildings. This is the first winter in maybe forever where I haven’t gone somewhere warm on a trip. We had to miss our Cabo trip because of the little life-sucker growing inside me. I didn’t realize how much I needed a tropical vacation for my mental health. Anyway, the Lincoln Park Zoo is pretty awesome, considering it’s free. I mean, it’s no San Diego Zoo, but we still enjoyed it. There were people jogging the trails because it is literally a park. It made me wish we had a little toddler already so we could just go on a stroll through the zoo.

            My best friends from high school were also in town to see Hamilton (and me, of course), so we had the best time being tourists and eating everything we could find. They also spoiled our baby with his first shopping spree from the Magnificent Mile. He’s gonna be such a little stud. Although, I will admit that baby boys get kinda ripped off with their fashion selection. Does anybody have any recommendations for places to shop for baby boys? Toddler boys have a great selection, but baby boys’ stuff is so limited! And I seriously HATE the onesies that say “Daddy’s Little Sidekick” and “More Milk!” and “Slugger” or whatever. I don’t know why, but they make me angry for some reason. Although, I did contemplate getting him one that says “Pants Optional”. I feel like I could design baby boy’s clothing to be way cuter than anything I’m finding.

I’m very curious what you moms have found to be NECESSITIES for baby items. I keep seeing all these sponsored lists by bloggers for items to have in your baby registry, but it seems like SO MUCH CRAP and I prefer to be a frugal minimalist (especially since we could be moving right before/after the baby is born). I had a friend suggest getting the Dockatot, since it can be used as a bassinet, tummy time mat, or lounger.  And to just keep one of the pink bins from the hospital as a baby bath. I’m really interested in getting the Doona infant car-seat stroller that converts to a stroller in seconds. There is nothing I loathe more than carrying those bulky infant car seats around. They are so awkward and I am so weak! And I feel like if I have a stroller in the back of the car, I will just end up carrying it instead of pulling out the stroller because I’m lazy. So, those are the kinds of tips I would really love to know. If anybody has any suggestions, please send them my way!

I start a new job on Monday, which is really exciting, but also terrifying. I really need a job badly to make sure we can pay our rent, but I’ve been such a freaking bum for the past couple months. I don’t know how my body will react to working full time. I don’t even have the energy to sit full time most days. I’ll be working as a bookkeeper/development associate for a nonprofit organization that fights homelessness in Chicago. It’s actually exactly what I wanted—a job that will help me gain experience in the accounting skills that I’ve learned through my classwork. I’ve been a little worried about being in the accounting industry and the stereotypes that come with it. It would have been great to get an internship or a job at one of the large accounting firms, but I was worried I’d get sucked up into that world. Working for a nonprofit has always been my long-term goal, so I’m really excited.

I even told them I was pregnant in my interview, and they didn’t seem to mind. They are a pretty liberal organization, which I obviously identify with. Their whole philosophy is to give housing to homeless women and their children with no strings attached. There is no requirement to get clean and sober, no requirement to get a job, or to meet with a case manager. The do have to be accountable to landlords, so if they are doing anything illegal like dealing drugs out of the apartment, they can obviously still get evicted. They offer programs for the participants to use if they would like, but it’s not a requirement in order to live at the apartment complex. But they have found that it encourages them to do these things on their own time. And they have really great success rates of people who have turned their lives around and eventually go on to get more education and become home owners. Plus, they have determined that it costs about $17,000 per year to house one woman. The cost of running a homeless shelter for one woman is about $40,000 per year. And the cost of incarcerating one woman is about $70,000 per year. It’s something I can really get excited about!

The real miracle is that I still got the job even with my random blushing attacks. Has anyone else ever started blushing more when they are pregnant? It is so bad! I blushed at the most random time during my final interview! And I blushed after I gave a comment in Sunday School. And in my pregnancy class. And then I get actually embarrassed because I’m blushing over nothing, so I go an even deeper shade of red. I feel like I'm an awkward middle schooler again. It’s awful!

I know this is super long, but I have to tell one last story. I’m in a pregnancy support group since my doctor is worried about me since we have no family around here. Anyway, our first class was this week and we learned about nutrition. At the beginning of the class, we talked about making sure this is a safe place, so no making fun of anyone or attacking them or anything. Then, we all went around and told what we ate the day before. One of the husbands/boyfriends was there and he said that for lunch, he had his brother’s leftover cereal. As if it were a reflex, I yelled out “Gross!” and laughed. I’m such a dick! This poor guy probably hates my guts now and doesn’t feel safe at our support group! In my defense, there is nothing that makes me more nauseous than someone else’s cereal milk. My brother-in-law lets his dog drink his cereal milk after he’s done eating and it makes me dry heave, which I have said to his face multiple times. There is a place that actually sells milk flavored with cereal flavors, so it’s like the leftover milk after you eat cereal and I have no idea how they actually sell any of that. I know I’m probably weird, but that is the grossest thing I can think of. So, I embarrassed some dad-to-be and now he won’t want to go back to the class. I’m the worst. I also went and got Taco Bell after we learned about pregnancy nutrition, so I am the literal worst.