I hate the word resolution. 23 New Year’s eves have passed
and not a single resolution of mine has become ingrained into my nature. They never
last and it just gets too annoying and predictable that the gym is packed in
January but dead in February. But I could really use some hope and optimism for
this next year (2013 kind of kicked my ass), and so I came up with a few
desires for the person I hope to become. And instead of calling them resolutions,
I’m going to resolve to become this
person. I don’t know why, but the word resolve seems much more hard core to me.
1. Don’t
judge someone just because they sin differently than you.
While I don’t
consider myself a judgmental person, I am highly critical—especially of myself.
I expect people to think the same way that I do and over-analyze every little
detail of their behavior and conversation, and so when I try to justify the intentions behind other people’s actions,
I can’t. Because they do not think the
same way I do. While Billy and I were dating, he told me one of his favorite qualities
of mine was how I wasn't judgmental and was always very accepting. I hate to
admit it, but I was probably this way because I wasn't up to much good (subtle
hint at my college party phase). But, when I started to turn my life around, it
became easier to point a finger at other people and see what they were doing
wrong compared to myself. It’s a vicious
cycle—when I’m in a good place spiritually, I become prideful and start to look
down on those not doing the same thing as me. And then I feel guilty about
being such an uppity bitch and my spirituality declines. So, one of my goals
this year is to find a way to be healthy both spiritually and in my relationships. And to
remember that everyone is trying their hardest and it is never my place to
condemn someone else for how they are living their life. And in turn, I'd ask you to please try not to judge Billy and I for being so cool. Because I'm pretty sure that we used to be these gorillas in a past life. Our personalities are surprisingly similar.
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2. “Advertising
has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we
don’t need.” –Fight Club
I get really excited to put on a new outfit
I just bought. Like, it’s easier to get up in the morning because I’m so
excited to wear said outfit. And it kind of makes me sad about myself. It’s
gotten to the point where I probably have 2 new outfits every week. That’s 104 outfits
a year! When I already have a perfectly acceptable wardrobe. Damn you, online
shopping. It’s just so easy when they send me emails and all I have to do is
pick my size and color and they deliver it to my door. It’s a shopping addicts
dream. And anything over 30% off, I’m sold. Plus, I work with 15 babes who all
have the cutest clothes and it’s just so hard. So, to curb my addiction I’m
going on a shopping fast. I won’t be
buying any articles of clothing/jewelry/accessories until springtime. Spring
is a rather ambivalent term in Utah, so Billy helped me out by specifying that
once the temperature is consistently 70°F I am allowed to purchase new clothes. So that means,it'll probably be more like July. Come Groundhog Day, I'm sure I’ll be praying my guts out that that little guy doesn't see his shadow. But seriously, I really want to use this fast to look at what I
do have and to see how much I can live without. If I'm being honest, I don't always have to look like I came straight out of a magazine like I do below...I never realized how mean I look in everyday life.
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I'll just have to stay away from any stores or computers--which is kind of tricky when you have an office job.
But, it’ll be so nice to save
some extra moolah. Now, I just need Billy to resolve not to eat out as much and
we’ll be able to retire for sure.
3. Tori,
did you hear what I just said?
My Dad has come up with a rule that when he
takes the family out to dinner, if any of us look at our phones at all, we will have to pay
for everyone’s meal. I love it, because we have real conversations and our time
together becomes so much more memorable. I don’t know why I have such a problem
with looking at my phone. Some of my most memorable times are when I’m in Lake
Powell and I don’t look at my phone for a whole week. It is seriously the best.
But in everyday circumstances, I get bored for 30 seconds, and I whip out my
phone to check my Instagram or Facebook. I’ll be honest, this was actually a
resolution that Billy made for me. But I really do not want to be that person,
and so I am resolving to not check my Facebook or Instagram after the hour of
5 PM. I get home from work everyday at 5, and I want that time to be spent with
friends and family or even in some good ole selfish me time. My friend recently went to
a forum with famous author and psychologist (and the reason I got interested
in psychology) Malcolm Gladwell a few months ago. And Gladwell, in response to
a question, said “My biggest fear is that we are afraid of our own thoughts. We
have so many devices to keep us entertained and stimulated, that we don’t have
enough time alone with our thoughts.” I’m paraphrasing, of course, but I really
loved that he said that. It’s so good for mental health to just sit and ponder
and reflect. So, my goal is to not rely on my phone as much and to make more
memories, instead of ignoring the world that's happening all around me.
4. No
more fad diets.
I’m probably never going to lose those 10
extra pounds I've gained since high school, unless I get giardia, so I’m going
to focus on becoming stronger and eating a more balanced and healthy diet
instead. When we get pregnant someday, I want my body to be healthy enough to
nourish my baby. When we have a daughter, I don’t want her to see my bad
example of constantly dieting and calling myself a fat ass. I want her to know
she is beautiful because she is healthy and active, not because she is skinny. And
I don’t want her to look at food and calories as her enemy. This is my way of
preparing to become a mother.
Also, kindly take note of this fat panda bear below
who is eating bamboo. If all I ate all day was bamboo and other healthy crap
that tastes like twigs, I would be the healthiest human being on earth, but I
would still probably be curvy like this panda bear at the San Diego Zoo. And he
is still just so dang adorable. I may have shed a tear or two when I saw him—that’s
how happy he makes me.
I should also probably try to quit
Diet Coke, but my goals should at least be a tiny bit realistic. And that will never really happen while working at Vivint (free fountain
drinks 30 steps away from my desk is one of the many perks). But I will try to
tone it down to only drinking one or two cups in the morning. And maybe I'll resolve to prepare myself to quit drinking in 2018. Yeah, that seems reasonable. I’m already
getting headaches just thinking about it. And, I mean, look how happy I am while drinking
the most delicious diet coke I've ever had at the Coke store in Vegas.
And in case your resolution was to be smarter this year, just take a gander at these tweets.You'll feel smarter already.
I hope you all had a great Christmas break
and have resolved to become your best version of yourself, or at least something better than your worst. Happy 2014!
