Bonnie & Clyve: February 2015

Grenada in the winter months is a dream. I didn’t think it could get any more perfect here, and then I stepped off the plane and felt a heavenly breeze. The temperature is the same as it was in August, but the difference is the humidity I think. And there are some lovely winds coming from somewhere—probably Antarctica. But this weather is really crappy timing, because I don’t have much free time to enjoy it this term. Why is that, you ask? Well, it’s because I am 4 weeks deep into my Master’s in Accounting program through Texas A&M. Aggghhhh! I’m gonna be a Master! Whatever that means.

Judging from all the confused laughs I generate when I make this announcement, I better clarify for everyone what the deal is. And it’s probably just as funny as you originally thought. I have ZERO background in accounting, but I have always loved the order that comes through math and especially problem-solving. I’ll admit it—I’m obsessed with worksheets. Plus, my four years at Vivint sparked my obsession with the business world.

I considered going into accounting during my undergrad but, a parent of mine, who will not be named, told me I had too much personality to be an accountant (I can say that now that I’m going to be one, right?) and so I pursued psychology. Which, I really, really loved, but now my career options are really, really pitiful. The plan is to become a CPA. I like the flexibility of the career—I could have my own clients and work from home, or if I start getting stir-crazy, I could go work for Vivint. Or another business I guess, but I’m Vivint for life, baby.

And not only that, I just hate that I have no knowledge on the subject at all. Once we start making money in ten years or so, it’ll be so useful to know what to do with our money. And if nothing else, it will save us $250 a year from hiring an accountant to do our taxes. That’ll really add up, guys. It may cover my tuition by the time I’m 87.

The whole idea came about as I was sitting on the beach one day, drinking my Miami Vice thinking about Leonardo DiCaprio, of course, which led me to The Wolf of Wall Street. And then I said to myself, “I don’t think we are in enough debt, what could I possibly do to drive us farther into the hole?” And alas, a dream was born. They should make a Disney Channel movie about me.

I only doubt myself every hour or so. The material is pretty effing hard for someone who knows literally nothing about the industry. Almost as hard as trying to go to the bathroom in a one-piece bathing suit. And it’s completely online which is the worst. But, I have nothing but time, so it gives me the option to go over the chapters two or three or ten times.

Being back in school has really helped put me in Billy’s shoes too. Last week, I was having a really hard time and feeling overwhelmed and I worked my butt off so I could have a pool day. I was crying to Billy that all I wanted was to lay at the pool and get fat. Life goals, ya know? As he was holding me, comforting me, I could have smacked myself. Because Billy feels all that same stress times 1,000, but he doesn’t get days off. He just goes to bed and starts all over again. What a freaking brat I’m being! So hopefully, by going through this with him, I’m getting a better grasp on what he’s going through and I’ll be more understandable on the hardest days where I’m missing him. Fingers crossed.

It's also nice because we go to school together in the morning and we have much more to say to each other than:

Me: How was your day?
Billy: Good.
Me: What'd you do?
Billy: Studied
Me: Cool!

I tell him what I'm learning and what I like and dislike about it, and it's somehow easier for me to listen to him talking about the crazy scientist stuff he's learning.

I’ve actually had this post drafted for a few weeks now, and I keep chickening out about posting it. I’m totally fine talking about farts, sex, bodily fluids, how many days I’ve gone without pooping (2), etc. But ask me about my life goals and I turn bright red and clam up. That feels way more personal to me for some reason. Billy told me about this TED talk that he listened to once. I never listened to it myself, so this is passed down the “he told me that she said” telephone line. Billy’s synopsis is that when we tell people our plans or our goals, a small part of us feels proud and feels as if we have already accomplished the task and we don’t feel as motivated to actually complete the goal. So, I’ve been waiting until I had a month of classes under my belt and that I was actually learning and passing before I told a lot of people. If you see me in 2.5 years and I’m not a CPA—blame it on this blog post. And then my Disney Channel movie can be called The Girl Who Was Almost a CPA. Riveting.

Here is a photoshoot of me trying to study.
***Disclaimer: I do not wear glasses. I wear them to make me feel smart while studying***

My grainy iPhone view from my study spot on campus.

I feel like I should apologize for my brief blogging sabbatical, but since I’m the only person who probably noticed, I’m not going to apologize. Instead, I’ll bore you with the minute-by-minute details of the last 2 months.

Billy and I just enjoyed a month-long break for Christmas. Well, mine was more like 2 months. And I don’t know if you can call any vacation time I take a “break”, because I don’t really do anything to take a break from. A break from hang-drying my laundry, I suppose? Anyway, it was fabulous for so many reasons, which I will proceed to list here.

1. For obvious reasons, we finally were able to hang out...with each other! As I’ve said before, this was the only time in our lives where neither of us had to work or study. We’ve taken plenty of vacations (as our friends like to make us feel guilty about) but always in the back of our mind is the impending doom of getting back to work or cramming for the next test. Since Billy was in-between terms, he really had nothing to study. Although, I still caught him looking at various anatomy charts—is that normal?

2. I was able to spend 2 weeks in Virginia, sans Billy, and then meet Billy for our month in Utah. This translates to—AMERICA! The land of the free and Target. The home of the brave and the Quesarito (I know Mexicans didn’t come up with that, Taco Bell, but whoever did, I thank you from the bottom of my heart).

3. Nieces and nephews. If you follow me on Instagram, then you already know that I have the coolest nieces and nephews alive. While FaceTiming Billy one night, he asked me who was my favorite niece or nephew on my side. Yes, we pick favorites; don’t act like you don’t do it too. I tend to prefer the ages of 2-4, when they can talk and have their own little personalities. I don’t really know what to do with newborns, I usually get in trouble for poking them to try and wake them up so they’ll play with me. And then when they hit 5, I feel like they get smarter than me and my ego can’t take that kind of embarrassment. But when Billy asked me that question, I really couldn’t tell him. They’ve all become their own little people who are all so important to me. I think through all of them and I just smile: Sawyer (9) will just tell you like it is—like how when I gave him his Christmas present (a Rastafarian hat, complete with braids), he said “Are you just kidding?” Auntie fail right there; Caroline (9) can’t turn her brain off and it’s so fun to talk to her and see her insights into the meaning of life. That girl has got some depth; Mary Grace (6) has the biggest heart and is so empathic, it makes me want to be a kinder person. And just give her a big hug every time I see her; Emery (3) is a wild child with more spunk and passion than most 19-year olds have. She’ll either be the future president or the next cast-member on Jackass; Henry (2) has SO much energy and it’s my favorite thing in the world to make him laugh; Hadley (2) is such a curious little girl and loves to tell me what to do and dance to Taylor Swift with me (she's made it clear, I'm not allowed to sing); Sadie (1) is a pterodactyl baby, who is an expert growler and smiles ALL DAY LONG. And those dimples...I die. My sisters have raised these cute little kids who are their own people and it’s just so much fun for me to get to know them. I’m so lucky I get to be their Aunt Tor Tor.

4. I was able to go see my 89-year old grandmother on my first visit to Virginia, and then she passed away a few weeks later and I was able to come to her memorial service. It was very sad, and especially hard to see my dad upset. But I’m so happy that she is reunited with my Granddad and I was able to see her one last time. Such a little miracle for me. And the silver lining to funerals is that it’s a time when family all gets together.

5. I got really homesick for Grenada. 90% of my homesickness came from the fact that I couldn’t ever get warm. Virginia and Utah feel like home, of course, because our family is there. But then, said family goes to work and you don’t have anything to do, and you feel a little worthless and wonder why everyone can’t play with you all day, so you eat your feelings, which makes you feel better, because AMERICA, so you keep eating. We gradually got fatter and mort pasty white every day we stayed there. So, I was also pretty eager to get home and stop eating! It was very apparent to us that we were just visiting as we saw everyone else’s lives going on without us. Grenada is our home now, and that was an important realization to make. I don’t think I would have discovered that unless we left for Christmas break because I’m the type of person that needs something shoved in my face before I make connections.

6. Speaking of having stuff shoved in my face, (that’s what she said)—over Christmas we were so spoiled and got so much STUFF. And now that we are back, I realize how much I don’t need ANY of it. I’m quite annoyed at myself. Yet again, I brought way too many clothes back. But I only got 2 new swimsuits, which is progress for me. Down here, I’m known as the girl who has 30 swimsuits. And that’s only if I’m matching them—I rarely have the same color top and bottom on. I figure, some girls have a shoe problem, my problem is swimsuits. Doesn’t matter if it’s Mossimo or Michael Kors. (Okay, I only have one Michael Kors and the rest are Mossimo. I’ll stop acting like I’m rich or something).

Now that we are home, my favorite purchases by far are our HydroFlask insulated water bottles. You guys, I don’t even understand how they work, but they are MIRACULOUS! Billy and I keep testing them to make sure the water hasn’t gotten warm yet and they are always ice cold. We went to the beach the other day and had left the bottle out in the sun. I couldn’t even pick it up, because the outside was so boiling hot. Billy braved the first drink, and the water was still as cold as if he had pulled it out of the fridge! Technology, man.

7. It took me almost a week, but I finally got adjusted to driving on the right hand side of the road. And now that I’m back in Grenada, I’m all messed up again. They really should not be letting me drive in either country.

8. We were able to go skiing (remind me never to go to Snowbird again--way too steep for these weakling legs); swim at the Homestead Crater; go ice skating after we realized the Midway Ice Castles weren't open till January--my bad, guys!; stay a night at the Little America; do a live session at the SLC temple (first for Billy); see the temple lights with almost the whole family; go down to St. George were it was a balmy 42 degrees (Billy still went golfing, but I need at least 70 degree weather to golf); watch a lot of movies; see the aerials at Deer Valley; go to Cafe Rio 5 times; and play a whole lot of 8 Ball Pool on our phones.

Can I get something off my chest now? It’s really been bothering me. What is the deal with the fountain drinks that all come out of one nozzle? It makes my drinks disgusting! They are taking over America and no one seems to be upset about it! You guys don’t understand how hard it is to go without fountain drinks and then come to the first gas station I see once I’m in America, and then my Diet Coke is poopy. I may have gotten low-maintenance about a lot of things in Grenada, but when I step off that plane and go through customs, I expect to have a perfectly concocted Diet Coke. And I don’t think that’s too much to ask, America.

Overall, it was a successful break, and we are both 15 pounds heavier and settling in to second term quite nicely.