Bonnie & Clyve: The Move From Hell

I have no idea why I’m writing this blog post about our move. No sane person would want to relive or remember these events. I guess I’m hoping that maybe I’ll think it’s funny one day. Or maybe it’ll make me grateful for the other moves we'll have that aren’t as eventful? Or it's more likely than not that I’m just crazy. Regardless, 6 weeks ago, we packed up all our belongings in a Budget rental truck immediately after Billy finished an 8-hour board exam. We towed our little Toyota all the way from Chicago to Virginia, with Emmett in the seat between us. Emmett had never been in a car for longer than 45 minutes at a time and then he turned 1 and we were like, “LET’S DO ALL THE ROAD TRIPS!”

We made it to Toledo and were served a delicious dinner by our good friends, the Wissingers. We drove another two hours before stopping for the night in the hotel from hell in Hudson, OH. Billy stayed out in the moving truck while I checked us in and got Emmett’s bed all set up so we could put him right back to sleep after taking him out of the car seat. Because he’s always grumpy when he gets woken up. Like me. But my plan was ruined.

First of all, my key didn’t work, so I couldn’t even get into the hotel from the parking lot. So I had to walk all the way back with the pack and play and my bag. This hotel was the size of a shopping mall and we were the farthest we could possibly be from the front desk. In this story, imagine me walking from Nordstrom to Macy’s (on the outside) at University Mall. Actually, I don’t even know what stores are there anymore—Utah County is unrecognizable to me now. But you get the point. So I went back to get a new key and had to wait forever to be helped. Even though I was sighing and stomping my foot impatiently. Or maybe it’s because I was doing that.

The receptionist finally gave me a new key and I made the trek all the way back from Nordstrom to Macy’s with all my crap. I stepped into the room and immediately wanted to cry. The bed was unmade. The room was hot and filthy and there was an inch of some unidentifiable liquid in the trashcan. I was so exhausted that I wouldn’t have even cared about all that, except the bed had either been slept in or something worse and I knew I’d rather drive through the night than sleep in that. So I tried calling the front desk and she doesn’t answer. So I hauled my crap all the way back to Nordstrom and very angrily order her to get me a new room. Not my best behavior, but I was murderous at this point. She finally got us another room that was a teeny bit cleaner, and the sheets were definitely clean. So I set up everything and went to get my boys. We were so gross from moving and driving that we had to shower, but Emmett couldn’t go back to sleep when we were still awake and moving around since we were sharing a room. So he cried for a while until he finally fell asleep at about 1 AM. I didn’t even care if other guests were annoyed. We woke up on August 1^st (Emmett’s birthday) all very grumpy and eager to get the hell out of that place. Now that you feel sorry for us, I’ll sheepishly tell you that we only paid $50 for the hotel, so we got exactly what we paid for.

That day we drove all the way to my parents’ house in Middleburg, Virginia. We unloaded a few things but then we had to get out to our storage unit to put the rest of our stuff there. For some reason, we decided we needed to pay to store all of our hand-me-down furniture and other crap we have already forgotten about until we are settled in one spot for residency. Which is a year away. Anyway, the storage unit office closed at 6 PM and we were meeting people from my parents’ ward to help us move it all at 6 PM. (Most of my family was conveniently out of town on this day.) As we were driving there, a mailman clipped us and shattered the driver’s side mirror. I’ve never heard Billy yell the f word quite so loudly. We had made it all the way from Chicago, and in the last 10 minutes of having the moving truck, we got hit. The mailman didn’t even stop either, he kept driving. So, we called the police, but we couldn’t stick around to report it and prove our story because the storage unit office was about to close. We ended up getting to the office at about 5:55 and it ended up taking about 20 minutes longer than we thought to sign all the paperwork and get the unit ready. So, the people from the ward that I’ve never even met before were there and ready to help us move but we weren’t ready yet. My stress levels were through the roof at this point. After some waiting, we finally get into our unit, but then we realize that there is no way all our crap can fit into it. I had done a Storage Unit Calculator thing online and it had said I should be fine with this type of unit, and I even went a little bit larger to be safe. But nope. Never trust the internet.

Luckily, the worker was a godsend and he opened the bigger unit so our helpers could start moving stuff in and then Emmett and I could go down to the office and sign some more paperwork. That’s when I learn that the unit we needed is 3x more expensive. So, at this point I was ready to just light a match to all of our stuff and start over next year when we’re in residency. Then, a police officer showed up to take my statement about the hit and run. He patiently waited for me to finish the paperwork before I took him out to the moving truck. This day was like my worst nightmare come true. Not only were we moving (the worst thing to do in the world) but so many people were doing favors for me and waiting on me. If you know me, you know that I am terrible at accepting help. The police officer checked out the damage and decided it’d be better to just pay for it out of pocket because if he filed an accident report, our insurance would go up. So basically, we wasted a lot of his time. When I got back to the storage unit, the men were pretty much done unloading. They unloaded everything and reloaded it in less than an hour. Elders’ quorum FTW! But, my plan had been to stand there and tell them whether things went in the storage unit or came with us to the house. That didn’t happen because I was dealing with everything else, so most of the stuff we need in the next year is somewhere buried in our unit. All of my detailed planning and organizing was for naught.

Now that I’m done complaining about the 3 days from hell, I’ll talk about how grateful I am that we had 2 weeks of vacation planned after this. We went to Topsail Island, NC with my family. My parents rented a beach house RIGHT ON THE OCEAN. We have stayed in ocean front houses before in the Outer Banks of North Carolina. But they always have a couple dunes to walk over, so you still have to pack your things for the whole day on the beach. In Topsail, the beach was so close that I could bring the baby monitor out on the beach while Emmett was napping inside the house. It was perfect. (Although, after Hurricane Florence, that house might not be there anymore. That’s the only problem with being so close to the water.)

This trip was the first time Emmett had been in the ocean. He loved playing in the sand with his cousins. And he loved the water as long as it wasn’t too close to his naptime. Speaking of naps, he magically took one long nap everyday and it made our vacations that much better. One nap makes me feel like I’m an actual human and I can actually do things! I don’t need to be rushing back to catch the 15-minute window for his second nap. I was ecstatic that he decided to do it for our vacations (probably because he was so exhausted from all the fun we had). He has since regressed and is taking 2 naps again (probably because I am super boring on my own and can’t give him enough stimulation for his brain), but it was fun while it lasted.

It was a special treat to be with all my family and see how much they love Emmett. He had met them all before, but to have a week in the same house when he’s at such a fun age, was awesome. His cousins called him “The Hypnotizer” all week, because he hypnotized them with his cuteness. He would sometimes get a little overwhelmed with all the attention. Going from being an only child to constantly being surrounded by cousins in your face is a little much to handle, but he did pretty well.

Our last day there, we flew from Wilmington to Salt Lake. We had a layover in Chicago, which made us a little sad since it felt like home but we didn’t have time to leave the airport. We got to Orem really late and then packed up and drove the 6 hours down to Lake Powell the next morning. Poor Emmett had no idea what was going on, but he was a trooper. You wanna know our road trip secret for a 1-year old? Nonstop Little Baby Bum. Mom shaming has made me feel guilt anytime I let him watch TV, but I’m beyond that now. He loves it and he has learned his animal noises and motions to nursery rhymes and he has killer dance moves. There’s no way he could have learned any of that from me! It’s 100% from his 1,000 hours of Little Baby Bum. I honestly feel like they should sponsor us. We have 3 episodes from Netflix downloaded on our phones, and he watches the same ones over and over.

Lake Powell was so much fun with Billy’s family. It was a completely different vacation with a 1-year old. I was anxious whenever he was awake and I didn’t dare take my eyes off of him unless Billy was watching him. Not that I don’t trust Billy’s family, but they are all so laid back, that it always makes me feel like I need to be extra anxious. But then around my family, where the majority are tightly wound, I feel the need to be the laid back one. Is anyone else like that? Please don’t tell me that’s a symptom of bipolar disorder.

Emmett was 100% fine, and had so much fun playing in the sand and the water. He went on a wave runner, paddle boarding, kayaking, and wake boarding. All with adult supervision, of course. We probably should have timed his wake boarding session a little better, but we didn’t want to waste all the good water on the baby! It was getting close to his nap, and he hates getting in the water with his life jacket on because it makes him float on his back. So he was already a little pissed off to begin with. Then, to top it all off, just as Billy was getting up and pulling him out of the water, the rope broke and they both fell back in. Emmett was so mad, poor guy. He actually usually does well when he’s put underwater, because he gets dunked in his swim lessons. But I think the whole situation was just not his favorite. They tried again and got up and wake-boarded for a minute. Then we got dropped off at the houseboat for his nap and all was forgiven. I wish we had tried again that trip, because I think he would have loved it if he hadn’t been grumpy and he knew what was going to happen. Oh well.

Emmett is the only baby in the history of the world that will NOT fall asleep on a boat. We’ve probably spoiled him too much with his own dark room and sleep sack and noise machine. He’s the best sleeper as long as he is in his own bed. I kept thinking he’d fall asleep on our boat rides, but all he did was get pissed and cry. Luckily, he slept pretty well on the houseboat, and he slept even better on the nights when the AC was broken. Probably because we weren’t in his room anymore. Boy needs his own space, like his momma.

We went back to Utah for another week and had fun playing with cousins and aunts and uncles everyday. Then Emmett and I flew back to Virginia and Billy went to start a family medicine rotation in Casper, WY. It was the perfect 3-week vacation after a long and stressful move.

One of our last days in our backyard. Not sure why we took a picture in the ugliest spot, but oh well.

Grandma flew out to watch Emmett while I packed up the house. She was a lifesaver!

On our last walk around the neighborhood. ET in front of ET.

Full disclosure: we had already gone to the moving truck rental place to pick up the hitch for the car and should have just left from there. But then I realized that we had never taken a picture of all of us in front of the front door. So, we drove back to get a quick selfie and then left for good. I do it for the gram!

Nice and cozy in our moving truck. Billy was a champ and drove the whole way because I was too nervous. And Emmett was a champ as long as Little Baby Bum was playing.

It was so much fun seeing our friends, the Wissingers! Emmett is obsessed with Jackson, and I wish we lived closer.

Stretching his legs

Now on his second road trip--this time to the beach!

3.5 years and a few pounds (if that) apart.

The girls loved Emmett's baby books and toys.

He was loving all the extra attention

It's hard to bottle feed someone who is your same size

His favorite part of the beach was the ceiling fan in the living room.

Playing corn hole with his uncles

Chilling in front of the house

Granddad putting him to sleep. Just kidding. There is no way he could fall asleep right there.

Will eat any type of chip. Even jalapeno.

During nap time, we actually got to pretend we were on vacation

Emery was not a fan of Little Baby Bum

It's tradition for my parents to watch all the grandkids one night and have a pizza movie night while the siblings and spouses go out to dinner. It was our first date night in a few months and it was amazing!

My people

Just missing Tanne

Then we asked Caroline to take our pictures since it was the only time all week I wore a full face of makeup.

Emmett loves his cousin Caroline

When he wasn't crawling in the waves or staring at the fan, he was mastering the stairs. I never even knew he could climb up stairs since we didn't have any in our apartment. He's a fast learner though.

Always getting smothered with love

Boogie boarding pro. He hated it though. Probably cause of that damn life jacket

Souvenir shopping with Mary Grace--the professional shopper

Tor Tor and Henry

Granddad and Sue Sue with all 9 of their grandchildren

Granddad has another tradition of reading Shel Silverstein poems to the grandkids. They love it.

On our flight to Chicago. Eating his first biscoff cookie.

He found a mini empty bottle of Jack Daniels in the seat back pocket and I wasn't about to take away 30 minutes of entertainment

Back in Chicago!

Delayed about 2 hours past his bedtime

Made it to Lake Powell! This is about the time when he's wondering what in the hell his parents are doing to him.

Always snacking

How many people does it take to get a rope out from a jetski propeller?

A pool with a view

Emmett was always the center of attention. Which is not his favorite.

When you forget that you don't have a base tan and go on vacation for 2 weeks, this is what your skin will look like.

Another birthday celebration for the 1 year old!

Sometimes he'll share his goldfish. Sometimes.

This picture just makes me so grateful he can finally walk now. I was so over walking him around like this all day long. But it was great for Lake Powell, so I could keep him safe.