Bonnie & Clyve: Tried to Domesticate Ya

It’s time for me to face the facts. I’ve known it was coming for a while now. It’s the unspoken Mormon housewife checklist:

1) Get married. ✔

2) Get a kickass job. ✔

3) Buy a puppy.

4) Pop out some chilluns.

5) Start a blog.

6) Buy a mansion.

7) Travel the world. (Billy wants to go into outer space, but he is so on his own for that one)

I hate this checklist. It makes me feel confined and too domesticated. If you know me, then you know that the sole purpose of my life is to think of everything that is expected of me...and then do the exact opposite. I about died of embarrassment by getting married at 20. It went against everything I believed in. Plus, a high school teacher once bet me that I would not be able to graduate from BYU without getting married and I soooo wanted to win that bet.

I ~~can’t~~ don’t cook, I’m a sugar mama, I finished my degree while my husband protested (he’s charmingly sexist…in a good way)

I don’t even have Pinterest!

Before you think I am the worst wife that ever got married at 20, let me clarify the real reasons why I hate this checklist. We haven’t bought a puppy because we don’t own a house--we can’t buy a house because we will be living off of food stamps for the next 4 years while trudging through medical school in who-knows-where? And I’ve got the fallopian tubes of a 90-year old.

Suffice it to say, even though I really do want to gradually mark off the checklist, I am completely unable to. And when the universe tells me no, I want it BAD. Since I graduated, I have really had an itch to start writing again—but nobody was assigning me essays, it was the darnedest thing! So, I assigned myself the task of starting this blog.

Why Bonnie and Clyve, you may ask? Well, one time a stranger said “You guys are named Tori and Billy? Those are the perfect outlaw names!” So, naturally I thought “Hey, we are just like Bonnie and Clyde!” And I've been telling myself that in my head ever since. Also, Billy legitimately wants to name our first son Clyve. Or Merlin. So, since that’s definitely not happening, I’ll help a brotha out.

Our full names are William and Victoria, which I think sounds like royalty, but we are so not proper or well-mannered or any of that garbage, so I like the rebel ones better. Don’t be fooled that Billy will EVER write in this blog. It’s all mine. My Facebook is really all mine too, except when people start writing us messages in Spanish, and then it's all his. But, he is my best friend and my inspiration (gag me) in just about everything so I will be posting a lot about him. So, I guess he can be mentioned in the title. Hopefully it makes up for the all the times I publicly humiliate him.

Starting now.